Grieving - Losing Loved Ones
Sorrow is an
emotion of great
sadness
associated with
loss or bereavement.
Sorrow is sadness associated with some wrong doing or from some disappointment that causes
great unhappiness. The
state of being sad. Feeling grief.
Grief
is a response to loss, particularly to the
loss of someone or
something that has
died, to which a
bond or
affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the
emotional
response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social,
cultural, and philosophical dimensions.
Bereavement refers to the state of loss, and grief is the
reaction to loss.
Grieving is intense
sorrow caused by
loss of a loved one, especially by
death.
Mourning
is grief over someone's
Death.
Grief and Loss.
Lament is to express grief verbally. A
cry
of sorrow and grief. A song or hymn of mourning composed or performed as a
memorial to a dead person. A mournful poem; a lament for the dead.
Lament is a passionate expression of grief, often in music,
poetry, or song form. The grief is most often born of
regret, or
mourning. Laments can also be expressed in a verbal manner, where the
participant would lament about something they regret or someone they've
lost, usually accompanied by wailing, moaning and/or
crying. Laments
constitute some of the oldest forms of writing and examples are present
across human cultures.
Saying Goodbye to People who Died
Funeral is a
ceremony for someone who
has died. A meeting of people and observances connected with the final disposition of a corpse, such as a
burial or
cremation. Funerary
customs comprise the complex of
beliefs and practices used by a
culture
to remember and
respect the dead, from interment, to various monuments,
prayers, and rituals undertaken in their honor. Customs vary between
cultures and religious groups. Common secular motivations for funerals
include mourning the deceased, celebrating their life, and offering
support and sympathy to the bereaved; additionally, funerals may have
religious aspects that are intended to help the soul of the deceased reach
the
afterlife, resurrection or reincarnation.
Keeping in Touch.
Memorial Service is giving various prayers for the departed and
comforting the living, and reminding the living of their own mortality and
the brevity of this earthly life. For this reason, memorial services have
an air of penitence about them. If the service is for an individual, it is
often held at the deceased's graveside. If it is a general commemoration
of all the departed, or if the individual's grave is not close by, the
service is held in a church, in front of a special small, free-standing
"memorial table", to which is attached an upright crucifix and with a
candelabra for the faithful to put lighted candles.
Obituary -
Eulogy -
Legacy -
Last Wishes
How to Pay Your Respects (wiki how) -
Make a Goodbye Video for the Death of a Loved one -
Thru My
Eyes
Wake is a social gathering associated with the death of a person, usually held before
a funeral. Traditionally, a wake takes place in the house of the deceased
with the body present; however, modern wakes are often performed at a
funeral home or another convenient location. A wake is also sometimes held
in place of a funeral as a social celebration of the person's life. In the
United States and Canada it is synonymous with a viewing. It is often a
social rite that highlights the idea that the loss is one of a social
group and affects that group as a whole. The term originally referred to a
late-night prayer vigil but is now mostly used for the social interactions
accompanying a funeral. While the modern usage of the verb wake is "become
or stay alert", a wake for the dead harks back to the vigil, "watch" or
"guard" of earlier times. It is a misconception that people at a wake are
waiting in case the deceased should "wake up". -
Burial Options.
Posthumous is something occurring or
coming into existence after a person's death.
Godspeed is a statement of wishing someone
a prosperous journey, or success. An expression of good wishes to a person
starting a journey.
Requiem is a mass celebrated for the
dead. A musical setting for a mass
celebrating the dead. A song or hymn of
mourning composed or performed as a memorial to a dead person.
Day of the Dead is a Mexican holiday celebrated throughout Mexico, in
particular the Central and South regions, and by people of Mexican
heritage elsewhere. The multi-day
holiday involves family and friends
gathering to pray for and remember friends and family members who have
died, and helping support their spiritual journey. In Mexican culture,
death is viewed as a natural part of the human cycle. Mexicans view it not
as a day of sadness but as a day of
celebration because their loved ones
awake and celebrate with them. In 2008, the tradition was inscribed in the
Representative List of the Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity by
UNESCO.
Amazing Grace (Lyrics) - Susan Boyle (youtube)
Scottish Bagpipes - Amazing Grace (youtube)
Tapps:
Melissa Venema and Andre Rieu Silenzo, Maastrich 2008 (youtube)
The
Great Gig In The Sky (Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon - 1973 - Clare
Torry) (youtube)
Kiyomi - Little Angel [Lyric Video] - Produced by Kevin Bents
(youtube) - Little Angel, your face is everywhere today, Pure
precious beauty, how can we comprehend? All that we can do, is send a
prayer your way And we’ll close our eyes and feel you, your soul is here,
near us now,
Go to sleep little angel, go to
sleep, beautiful soul, Your loved ones ache to see you, but will
see you soon one day, We know you’re in a better place, a beautiful, light
paradise, Till then your memory, can bring us solace and ease, Your Soul
is still here with us, in our hearts and in our dreams Sleep in peace
little angel, sleep in peace, beautiful soul beautiful soul
(Instrumental), Go to sleep little angel, go to sleep, beautiful soul,
You’re in my heart for always, and I’m sending a prayer your way.
What Most People would like to Say to a Deceased Relative or Friend.
"I Love You" "I Thank You" "I Forgive You" "Please Forgive Me".
Christina Aguilera "Hurt" (youtube).
Afterglow by Helen Lowrie Marshall.
I’d like the memory of me to
be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is
done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of
happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the
tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun;
Of happy memories
that I leave when life is done.
I’d like to leave
some valuable knowledge and information as well. (Legacies)
Irish Blessing -
(May God Give You For Every Storm A Rainbow) (youtube)
May the road
rise to meet you
May the wind be ever at you back
May the sunshine
warm upon your face
And the rain fall soft upon your fields
And
until we meet again
May god hold you, may god hold you
Ever in the
palm of his hand
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be ever
at your back
May the sunshine upon your face
And the rain fall soft
upon your fields
And until we meet again
May god hold you, may god
hold you
Ever in the palm of his hand
Ever in the palm of his hand
The palm of his hand.
The void after someone dies: There is no
void, only a temporary space that will soon be filled with wonderful
memories. Life will not be the same after you lose a loved one, but
remember, life never stays the same. Life is always evolving and changing,
and every person who has ever live was an important part of this process.
An ongoing never ending continuum.
Some people believe that
Some
People Don't Fully
Grow Up Until We Lose Our Parents.
Some people also believe that there are some lessons that only
grief and responsibility can teach us. This is true and false.
Because we can learn either way. And we don't necessary need to
learn
the hard way, especially when
there is no guarantee that the person will learn correctly or accurately.
And the type of changes that you will experience will also depend on how
old you are, and how knowledgeable you are. "At the end of everyday we
should pay our last respects to
the thousands of our fellow humans that have
died prematurely in the world today. Let them know that they
will always be dear to our hearts, and that we will carry on, and we will keep moving
forward, till that one day when we meet our loved ones again,
on that beautiful day, a day
where everyone lives, and no one ever dies
before their time is done To bare the
pain without breaking is sometimes the best that we can do.
Half-Mast refers to
a flag flying below the summit on a pole. In many countries this is seen
as a symbol of
respect,
mourning,
distress, or in some cases, a salute.
Strictly speaking, flags are said to be half-mast if flown from ships, and
half-staff if on land, although not all regional variations of English use
"half-staff". The tradition of flying the flag at half-mast began in the
17th century. According to some sources, the flag is lowered to make room
for an "
invisible flag of death" flying above. However, there is
disagreement about where on a flagpole a flag should be when it is at
half-staff. It is often recommended that a flag at half-staff should be
lowered only as much as the hoist, or width, of the flag. British flag
protocol is that a flag should be flown no less than two-thirds of the way
up the flagpole, with at least the height of the flag between the top of
the flag and the top of the pole. It is common for the phrase to be taken
literally and for a flag to be flown only half way up a flagpole, although
some authorities deprecate that practice. When hoisting a flag that is to
be displayed at half-mast, it should be raised to the finial of the
pole for an instant, then lowered to half-mast. Likewise, when the flag is
lowered at the end of the day, it should be hoisted to the finial for an
instant, and then lowered.
Shock - Sorrow - Process - Solutions
5 Stages of Grief is a series of
emotions that are
experienced by some people after the loss of a loved
one, or when finding out that they're going to die sooner than expected.
Transitions.
Denial – The first reaction is
denial. In this
stage, individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to
a
false, preferable
reality.
Anger – When the individual
recognizes that denial cannot continue, they become
frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. Certain psychological
responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: "Why me? It's not
fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to
blame?"; "Why would this happen?".
Bargaining – The third stage involves the
hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the
negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed
lifestyle. People facing less serious
trauma can
bargain or seek compromise. For instance: "I'd give anything to have him
back." Or: "If only he'd come back to life, I'd promise to be a better
person!"
Depression – "I'm so
sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going
to die soon,
so what's the point?"; "I miss
my loved one, why go on?" During the fourth stage, the individual despairs
at the recognition of their mortality. In this state, the individual may
become silent,
refuse visitors and spend much
of the time mournful and sullen.
Acceptance
– "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it; I may as well prepare for
it." In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable
future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may
precede the
survivors in this state,
which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual,
and a stable condition of emotions.
Letting
Go means having trust that things will get better. It means
being
brave to move forward to get to where you want to be. Letting go means
accepting the things you can't change and doing something about the things you can.
Letting Go.
Coping
means to
invest own conscious effort, to solve personal and interpersonal
problems, in order to try to master, minimize or tolerate
stress and
conflict.
Stress Relief Tips -
Relaxation Techniques
Adapting is to conform oneself to new or different
conditions. Make fit for, or change to suit a new purpose.
Adaptation
enhances the fitness and
survival of individuals. People who face a
succession of challenges as they grow and develop, become equipped with an
adaptive
plasticity in
response to the imposed conditions.
Adaptive Competence.
Patience -
Balance -
Counseling -
Therapy
Loss, Grief and Bereavement Resources
Trauma -
Crime -
Violence
Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction
that follows the failure of
expectations or hopes
to manifest. Similar to
Regret, it
differs in that a person feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal
choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while a person feeling
disappointment focuses on the outcome itself. It is a source of
psychological stress. The study of disappointment—its causes, impact, and
the degree to which individual decisions are motivated by a desire to
avoid it—is a focus in the field of decision analysis, as disappointment
is one of two primary emotions involved in decision-making.
Self-Pity is a feeling of sorrow (often
self-indulgent) over your own sufferings.
Don't Blame Yourself.
Learned Helplessness is when someone endures
repeatedly painful or otherwise
aversive
stimuli in which it is unable to escape or avoid. After such
experience, the person often fails to learn or accept "escape" or
"avoidance" in new situations where such behavior would likely be
effective. In other words, the person learned that it is helpless in
situations where there is a presence of aversive stimuli and has accepted
that it has lost control, and thus gives up trying. Such a person is said
to have acquired learned helplessness.
Cry - Sob - Weep
Crying
is not a sign of weakness. Crying is a natural response to pain,
discomfort or
deep
sadness.
Crying is
an
instinct given to us at birth. Since babies are
born without an effective way to communicate, the
Baby
uses this
Instinctual response of crying to communicate to its mother,
so the mother knows that the child is feeling discomfort or
pain. As we get older,
even though adults have mastered language,
crying is still used to
Communicate
Discomfort or
Pain. But most adults stop
crying
because of physical pain, mostly because adult have learned over
time that there is no need for crying and also that they have
also
built up a
tolerance for pain.
Crying is the shedding
of
Tears or welling of tears in the
eyes in response to an
emotional state, pain or a
physical irritation of
the eye. Emotions that can lead to crying include anger,
happiness, or sadness. The act of crying has
been defined as "a complex secretomotor phenomenon characterized by the
shedding of tears from the
lacrimal
apparatus, without any irritation of the ocular structures", instead,
giving a relief which protects from conjunctivitis. A related medical term
is lacrimation, which also refers to non-emotional shedding of tears.
Various forms of crying are known as sobbing, weeping, wailing,
whimpering, bawling, and blubbering. For crying to be described as
sobbing, it usually has to be accompanied by a set of other symptoms, such
as slow but erratic inhalation, occasional instances of breath holding and
muscular tremor. A neuronal connection between the lacrimal gland (tear
duct) and the areas of the human brain involved with emotion has been
established. Scientists debate over whether humans are the only animals
that produce tears in response to emotional states. Charles Darwin wrote
in The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals that the keepers of
Indian elephants in the London Zoo told him that their charges shed tears
in sorrow. Tears produced during emotional crying have a chemical
composition which differs from other types of tears. They contain
significantly greater quantities of the
Hormones prolactin,
adrenocorticotropic hormone, and Leu-enkephalin, and the elements
potassium and manganese..
Weeping is
the process of shedding tears and showing sorrow, usually accompanied by
sobs or other inarticulate sounds. To shed tears because of sadness, rage,
or pain.
Sobbing is a convulsive
gasp made while weeping.
Convulsive is
involuntary jerky muscular contractions, sometimes resembling a spasm.
Tearjerker is a sentimental story,
movie, or song, calculated to evoke sadness or sympathy. An excessively
sentimental narrative.
Catharsis is the
purging of emotional tensions. The purification and purgation of emotions
that results in renewal and restoration.
Cathartic is providing
psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions that
releases emotional tension, especially after an overwhelming experience.
Cathartic can also mean to purge the body by the use of a cathartic to
stimulate evacuation of the bowels.
Stress Relief Tips
Some adults even avoid crying
because it's perceived to be a sign of weakness.
But besides physical pain, adults now have a new kind of pain,
Emotional Pain.
Even though it's a
Perceived pain it is still
a form of communication. And there's nothing wrong with
communicating as long as it's honest and genuine. But if crying
is done over a long period of time, or recurring to frequently,
then it is time to
seek help.
Pseudobulbar Affect is a type of affect characterized by
involuntary crying or
uncontrollable episodes of crying and/or laughing,
or other emotional displays. PBA occurs secondary to a neurologic disorder
or brain injury. Patients may find themselves crying uncontrollably at
something that is only moderately sad, being unable to stop themselves for
several minutes. Episodes may also be mood-incongruent: a patient might
laugh uncontrollably when angry or frustrated, for example. Sometimes, the
episodes may switch between emotional states, resulting in the patient
crying uncontrollably when having sex. While typically caused by
physiological damage or disorder, emotional lability is known to accompany
certain personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder.
Depression -
Emotions
-
Know Thyself -
Emergencies
Sports -
Exercise -
Meditation -
Anxiety"I
sympathize with people, but I don't feel sorry for people,
because feeling sorry for someone does not help them, or help
me."
"
For
crying out load, what are you doing?"
Life
Organizers.
Only Humans Shed Emotional Tears: Every other animal that produces
tears has a physiological reason for doing so.
My Immortal -
Evanescence (youtube)
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by
all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would
just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't
leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too
real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried,
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all
of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But
you still have all of me.
You used to captivate me by your resonating
light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's
just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all
of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all
of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though
you're still with me, I've been alone all along
When you cried, I'd
wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of
your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
You still
have all of me, me, me.